How many times have you hesitated or kept quiet when you knew the answer to a question? Then how did it feel when somebody else answered with the right answer and received praise?
有多少次當(dāng)你知道一個問題的答案時，你卻選擇猶豫或者保持沉默?當(dāng)別人回答正確并收到贊揚(yáng)時你又是什么感受呢?
It's not unusual for teens to avoid answering questions in front of others because they're too shy or too afraid of being wrong.Sometimes a lack of self-confidence stems merely from a lack of experience. You may not feel so confident about answering questions out loud or acting in a stage play if you've never done it before. These feelings will change as you grow and experience more things in your life.
這種現(xiàn)象在青少年中較為常見，因?yàn)樗麄兲π呋蚝ε路稿e。有時缺乏自信僅僅因?yàn)槿狈?jīng)驗(yàn)。如果你從來沒有做過類似的事，就會在在大聲回答問題或上臺表演時感到不夠自信。隨著你成長并在生活中經(jīng)歷更多的事情，這些感覺將會改變。
Identify the Cause for Your Lack of Self-Confidence 確定你缺乏自信的原因
If you have a fear that people will see your perceived shortcoming, you will find it difficult to assert yourself. Your shortcoming or vulnerability may have to do with your looks, your size, your perceived intelligence, your past, or your family experience.
如果你擔(dān)心人們會看到你的缺點(diǎn)，你會發(fā)現(xiàn)很難表達(dá)自己。你的缺點(diǎn)或弱點(diǎn)可能與你的外在形象、你的身高、你的感知能力、你的過去、或者你的家庭經(jīng)歷有關(guān)。
In building self-confidence, your first goal is to develop a realistic understanding of your strengths and weaknesses. You’ll have to take a difficult first step and look inside yourself to discover where and why you feel vulnerable.
建立自信的過程中，你的第一個目標(biāo)是對自己的優(yōu)點(diǎn)和缺點(diǎn)有一個實(shí)際的了解。你需要開始艱難的第一步：深入地審視自己，看看你在什么場合會感到脆弱，為什么有這樣的感受。
Face Your Fear Head-On 直接面對恐懼
To get started on your self-exploration, go to a quiet and comfortable place and think about the things that make you feel bad about yourself. These things could stem from your complexion, weight, a bad habit, a family secret, abusive behavior in your family, or a feeling of guilt over something you’ve done. It can be painful to think about the root of your bad feelings, but it is healthy to root out something that is hidden deep inside and to work through it.
首先，從自我探索開始，去一個安靜舒適的地方，想想讓自己感覺不舒適的事情。這些情景可能源于你的膚色、體重、一個不良習(xí)慣、一個家庭秘密、家庭虐待行為、或者因?yàn)槟阍?jīng)做的事而內(nèi)疚的感覺。思考不良感受的根源可能是痛苦的，但是發(fā)覺一些隱藏較深的原因并解決它是健康的方式。
Once you have identified the things you feel bad or secretive about, you’ll need to determine what you can do to change them. Should you change your eating habits? Exercise? Read a self-help book? Any action you take?even the act of thinking about your problem?is a step toward getting it out in the open and eventually healing.
一旦你已經(jīng)確定了讓你感覺不好或者私密的事情，下一步需要確定可以做什么來改變現(xiàn)狀。你應(yīng)該改變你的飲食習(xí)慣嗎?運(yùn)動嗎?讀了一本關(guān)于自助的書籍?任何你采取的行動，甚至是你把思考問題的行為，都是一步探索最終解決問題的步驟。
Once you have a full understanding of your problem, you will find that your fear decreases. When the fear goes away, the hesitation goes away and you can and will start asserting yourself more.
一旦你對問題有了一個全面了解，你會發(fā)現(xiàn)恐懼越來越少。當(dāng)恐懼和猶豫消失時，你可以開始進(jìn)一步地了解自己。
Celebrate Your Strengths 肯定你的長處
It's not enough to identify your weaknesses or your problem areas. You also have great aspects about yourself that you need to explore! You can start doing this by making a big list of things you have accomplished and the things you do well.
認(rèn)識你的弱點(diǎn)或問題并不足夠。你自己有很多的優(yōu)點(diǎn)，同樣需要探索！你可以從寫下你已經(jīng)完成的事和你擅長的事開始來發(fā)現(xiàn)自己的優(yōu)點(diǎn)。
You were born with some natural talent, whether you have discovered it or not. Do you always make people laugh? Are you artistic? Can you organize things? Do you navigate well?
你是有一些先天的天賦，你是否發(fā)現(xiàn)了這些優(yōu)點(diǎn)？你總是讓人開懷大笑嗎?你有藝術(shù)情懷么?你善于組織事物嗎?你方向感好嗎?
All of these traits are things that can become very valuable as you get older. They are skills that are absolutely essential in community organizations,in college, and on the job. If you can do any of them well, you have traits to cherish!
所有的這些特征在你成長的過程中都會變得非常有價值。這些技能在團(tuán)隊(duì)組織、在大學(xué)、在工作中都是非常必要的。如果你可以將這其中的任何事情做好，你要珍惜這些技能!
Once you have taken the two steps above, identifying your vulnerability and identifying your greatness, you will start feeling an increase in your confidence. You decrease your anxiety by facing your fears, and you start liking yourself better by celebrating your natural strengths.
一旦你采取了上述兩個步驟，認(rèn)識到自己的缺點(diǎn)和優(yōu)點(diǎn)，你會感覺到你的自信有所增加。通過直面你的恐懼，你的焦慮會減少，因?yàn)榱私庾约旱膬?yōu)點(diǎn)越多你會更喜歡自己。
Change Your Behavior 改變你的行為
Behavioral psychologists say that we can change our feelings by changing our behavior. For instance, some studies have shown that we become happier if we walk around with a smile on our faces.You can speed up your path to increased self-confidence by changing your behavior.
行為心理學(xué)家說，我們可以改變行為來改變感受。例如，一些研究已經(jīng)表明，如果面帶微笑散步，我們便會更加開心。你可以通過改變你的行為來加速自信心的增加。
Try smiling more. This will help you fight off feelings of negativity.Compliment others on their strengths. You’ll find that other people will return the favor and compliment you back.Exercise and get enough sleep. Both of these behavioral traits improve our moods. You’ll feel better inside and outside and look better too!Take time every night to plan for the next day. By planning ahead we avoid mistakes that make us feel bad about ourselves.
試著更多地微笑。這將幫助你戰(zhàn)勝消極的感覺。稱贊別人的長處，你會發(fā)現(xiàn)別人同樣會給你支持和贊美。積極鍛煉并保證足夠的睡眠。這兩種習(xí)慣都能改善我們的情緒。你會感到自己的身心都更為健康！每天晚上花一些時間為第二天做計(jì)劃。我們可以通過提前計(jì)劃來避免觸犯會使自己產(chǎn)生不良情緒的錯誤。
Use a Third Person Approach 借鑒他人的方法
There is an interesting study that shows that there may be a trick to meeting our behavioral goals more quickly. Think about yourself in the third person as you evaluate your progress.
一項(xiàng)有趣的研究表明：可能存在一些技巧可以更快地實(shí)現(xiàn)我們的行為目標(biāo)。用第三人的視角來評價你的進(jìn)步。
The study measured the progress in two groups of people who were attempting to make a positive change in their lives. The people who participated in this study were divided into two groups. One group was encouraged to think in the first person. The second group was encouraged to think of their progress from an outsider’s point of view.
這項(xiàng)研究記錄了兩組人的進(jìn)展，被記錄者試圖在他們的生活中做出積極的改變。參與這項(xiàng)研究的人被分成兩組，一組是參與者采用自身鼓勵。第二組參與者是從其他人的視角來鼓勵。
Interestingly, the participants who thought about themselves from an outsider’s perspective enjoyed a faster path to improvement.
有趣的是，參與者從他人的角度思考自己時，會取得有更快的進(jìn)步。
As you go through the process of improving your self-image and increasing your self-confidence, try to think of yourself as a separate person. Picture yourself as a stranger who is on a path toward positive change. Be sure to celebrate this person’s accomplishments!
當(dāng)你經(jīng)歷過改善自我形象和增加自信心的過程時，嘗試認(rèn)為自己是一個獨(dú)立的人。將自己想象為一個正在向積極方面的改變的陌生人。切記一定要在自己有所進(jìn)步時為自己慶祝！
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